Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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