my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
