those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize