There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
