He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
