Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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