why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm at about main and main street
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
