I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
