Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
