thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
