Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
