and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
two words...techno handjob
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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