Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You are a genius and a whore.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
