yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
