I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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