that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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