she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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