Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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