Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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