im having a threesome with these popsicles
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
cat food counts as protein by the way
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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