Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
