Me too!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
