scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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