They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
