do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
