I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
