I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
