I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
