the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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