If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
time to smoke my breakfast
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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