i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
