i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
