I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize