what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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