you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
