I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
