he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
