Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
