I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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