So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
