also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
