I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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