you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Randomize
