4 words: hood of his car
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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