What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
