what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
