atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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