I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize