So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
