Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize