So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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