The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
