yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
tell your sister to shave her snatch
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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