hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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