That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
