i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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