Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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