No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
