Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish i was in the wii world.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
