If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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