Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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