the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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