sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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