I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
